Here is what happened.
After five months of being off Facebook, it was today I decided to reactivate my account. After scrolling down the newsfeed, I see a status update that was directed towards me. Not only that, but shortly thereafter I noticed I was unfriended. Now, while offensive comments and lack of knowledge about a person are reasons people unfriend on Facebook, this was not the case. Though no one likes to lose a friend due to conflict resulting from misunderstandings, it happens. Let me ask this, how do you handle offenses when it arises? Do you overlook it? Do you tell about it in your Facebook status update? Do you tweet about it? Or do you gossip behind their backs? No, we are to handle it in a biblical way. Lets consider what Matthew 18:15-17 says...
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Here we see in the eighteenth chapter of Matthew, Jesus tells us how to deal with hurts and offenses, and pursue peace with others. Romans 12:18 also says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”. Let's look at the steps Jesus gives us to take when we are in conflict with each other. Before I begin, its to be noted that these steps are to be followed between believers.
Step 1: "Go and show him his fault, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU"... This step is a one-on-one, face to face moment. Notice I didn't say Face to Facebook. We are not to announce the offense to other people. We are to go directly to that person and talk to them... not being critical and judgemental, arrogant, proud, or self-seeking. We are to go to them in love. At this point everyone does not have to know. Hopefully the matter is resolved at two people level.
Step 2: " If he will not listen, take one or two others along." It is here when we are to take one or two others along if the person will not listen to you.
Step 3: " If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector, ie., a non believer. NOTE! This step can only be taken once steps one and two have been done - not before.
While Jesus tells us how offenses are to be handled between two people, such is not the case. Instead, we go to everyone else and publish it to the world, which is the exact opposite of what He says. As believers, it is our responsibility to go to our Christian brothers and sisters and show them their fault. Example: I recall a time when someone came to me directly and asked if she had done anything to offend me. Her reason for asking is because she was going to write me, but after noticing I wasn't on her friend list anymore, she thought I had defriended her. However, after informing her that I had deactivated my account we realized there wasn't an issue.
Conclusion,
We must handle offenses, but we must handle them in the manner that pleases Jesus. Not only that, Jesus warns us of offenses. In Luke 17:1, Jesus said "it is impossible that no offenses should come... That being said, when someone does or says something that hurts or offends us, we must be ready to forgive. Also keep in mind that in some cases, we will not realize that we have offended someone, but when we learn that we have, we should ask for forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22 says, Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
"If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them." Luke 17:3
