It’s not how well you start, it’s how well you finish!

Starting out is good, but finishing well is even better, especially for all of us with plans to start a hair journey of going natural. I made the decision to go natural and I am in the process of transitioning by slowly growing out my relaxer. If you, like me, have been transitioning for any length of time, you may didn't know what to expect with your natural hair transition. Just as a reminder, my last relaxer was March 2014 --- But there have been days when I was annoyed with my hair, and relaxing it has been so tempting! The excuse I made to myself was that my hair was too thick and that I don’t have time to style my hair ---but rather than give up on all the progress I have made, I'm keeping the party going! I fully admit, it’s certainly a journey!Every day I come across women that are at their breaking point and are almost ready to give up on natural hair, but I remind them that they can make it.

Why am I writing this? The Christian journey is something like the natural hair journey...many times you start to doubt that you'll make it. You think, "I'll never be able to do this ---But you can!!! But with the natural hair journey, women are getting discouraged in contemplation of giving up my natural journey because they are having to deal with two different textures of hair. This is the common problem, and the thing that discourages women from going natural. And just as there the two conflicting textures in the hair journey (relaxed hair and new natural growth), there are two natures in the Christian: the spirit and the flesh…and they are always in conflict with one another. In Galatians 5:17 we are told, "The flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other; so that ye cannot do the things that ye would."

In a spiritual sense, Jacob and Esau is a perfect illustration of the conflict between flesh and spirit. The story of Jacob and Esau is that of twin brothers, sons of Isaac and Rebekah. Jacob and Esau were not identical twins; actually, they were opposites. From the very beginning, these two brothers were struggling against each other. They represent the conflict of the flesh and the spirit. Esau represents that which is natural, whereas Jacob represents that which is spiritual. The conflict between the natural and the spiritual is present in every believer's heart. It is the conflict of the two natures.

But Romans 8:5-9 clearly describes for us the difference between walking in the flesh and walking in the Spirit. I have learned according to Romans 8:5-9 “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.” You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

Don't give into your fleshly desires!!!!!

If Satan cannot get you to give in, he will try to get you to give up.

It is in my God given nature to encourage you ALL so I will say this, don’t see your natural hair/ Christian journey as merely the passing of time, but rather a journey of faith. When preparing for the journey, it will take faithfulness. In this journey, you will experience failure, frustration, and even hopelessness, but you must remain faithful. Faithfulness means a lot to the Lord. It’s easy to give up because of discouragement, but don’t give up yet…you are almost there!!! This journey takes dedication, faithfulness, obedience, commitment, and sacrifice! We are told in Galatians 6:9,  “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” REMEMBER: Anyone can make a good start, the real test is in finishing well. It’s not how well you start; what matters is how well you finish. In James 1:12, we are told,  “Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” The blessing comes after the trial not before. In Luke 8:13, Jesus also spoke of believers who quit, “Those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away.” It is staying with the Lord that matters, not merely starting out. It is loving the Lord for a lifetime, not just for a time.

Don't settle for second best!!!

It's difficult to find that perfect pair of shoes and I have yet to find a pair of shoes that I absolutely love until I went to Belk and seen the Claudette d'orsay pumps by Jessica Simpson. However, after going to different stores looking for these shoes, every salesperson comes back out only to tell me they don't have my size. But today while I was out window shopping with my girlfriend Brandi, we went to Charming Charlie where I saw the Adele D'orsay pump that was similar to the Claudette d'orsay pumps and it was cheaper. I bought it, of course! I took my new shoes for a walk the next day---only to find out they caused me pain! And if you like me, you know a good pair of shoes should be comfortable from the moment you put them on! But because I was too impatient to wait, I settled for a lesser version of what I truly wanted! I settled for second best! ... After buying these shoes, it caused me to reflect on times I've settling for second best when I could've waited and had more. Is that ever a reality check! Especially in relationships, I have settled for men who was less ambitious, less religious, less intelligent, less physically attractive, less giving. Don't say you haven't done it. All of us are guilty of settling for less at some time in our lives. For you, it could be another aspect of your life, i.e., marriage, job, friends, goals, home, relationship, etc., but in this post, I wanted to go the other extreme…settling in relationships. While it’s something both sexes do, I feel us women settle more. But we all know, God doesn’t want us to settle for less. He wants what is best for His people.

 

Take the biblical story of Isaac and Ishmael. The story of Isaac and Ishmael is found in Genesis 16-21. Here’s a short synopsis of what happened. God made a promise to Abraham. He promised him a son through his wife Sarah as well as a covenant through the promised son. However, Abraham got impatient and Sarah got discouraged...and instead of trusting in God’s promise and His timing, they took matters into their own hands. They decided to speed up the process by getting a slave girl, Hagar, to bear children with Abraham. After Hagar gets pregnant, Abraham’s wife Sarah is now resentful of Hagar and treats her rough. Hagar runs away. God then speaks to Hagar. God tells Hagar to go back and that God is going to bless her son. The scriptures reveal that Ishmael was born because Abraham and Sarah couldn’t wait any longer. For 13 years Abraham sincerely believed that Ishmael was the promised son. BUT, in Chapter 17, which is 13 years later, God then tells Abraham that another son would come through Sarah herself. God then blesses them with their own child, Isaac! Isaac was born according to the promise of God.
 As we read the story, that sounds a little like us. Like Abraham and Sarah, we settle for second best in our lives. We settle because of lack of trust, lack of patience and we are by nature impatient people. We want what we want, and we want it now. But we are told in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

In conclusion, I simply want to encourage you all to not to settle, and give in to second best. Just like God didn't want Abraham and Sarah to settle, He wants the same for us! If you, like me, you may have settled for an Ishmael. But like those pumps from Charming Charlie, Ishmael will cause you more pain than not having your Isaac. The bottom line is that I should have waited for the Claudette d'orsay pumps by Jessica Simpson. One of the most important lessons that I am learning is that what God wants to give us is always far better than what we want Him to give us!!! I am writing this blog for myself and others, DONT SETTLE FOR LESS!!! Wait on the very best God has in store for you! God's promise to us, like that story, is about more: whatever we ask, He has more in store!

 

       

I really wanted the shoes on the right, but settled for the ones on the left!

Giving God Your Time!

If there's one thing we could all use a little bit more of, its time. If you own a dog, it should come as no surprise that no matter what your schedule is like, spending some one-on-one time with your dog is super important, for both your dog and you. Or maybe you don't own a dog, but you're in a relationship and you know that spending one-on-one time with your mate is very important. If you, like me, my life is busy with too much work, too many errands, too many obligations. Too little time. While playing fetch is way for my dog and I to spend some quality time together, I fully admit that there are some times when I don’t want to play with him --- but he wants nothing more than to spend time with me. Why am I writing this? Because God wants us to spend time with Him.

In Luke 10:28-32, Martha learned a very valuable lesson that that we should learn today.
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.

When reading this scripture, I am reminded God wants us to spend time with Him. The story of Martha sitting at the feet of Jesus demonstrates that we need to spend time with God. Reading the Bible is like sitting at Jesus feet. Spending time with God is extremely important; and with that being said, the most important thing that you, and I can do is offer God our sincere love...and time. After all, to love God with everything that's in us, means that we will make deliberate choices about spending time with Him.  Mark 12:30 reads, "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment."

There are many ways we can spend time with time with God.  While spending time with God looks different for every person, the different ways I spend time with God are through reading the Bible or devotional, praying, listening to Gospel music, listening to a pastor on the radio, and/ or writing my prayers in a journal.  However, reading the Bible is the best way because its essential for knowing God...and its also essential for us to live for God. Reading the Bible is like sitting at Jesus feet. In my life as a believer, reading the Bible has been, at times, very low on my priority list. BUT, there is truth in the saying "You make time for what you want!"

In conclusion, time with God looks different for everyone; but we shouldn't get so caught up in our day to day living that we neglect to spend time with God. We all know that spending time with God every day is important. Just like when I am home, I know how important it is for me to spend quality time with my dog...we should also know how important it is for us to spend quality time with our God! God wants His time! Are you spending time with Him?

..........And now I’m off to take my own advice.

Walking in Purity with God.

It's blessing be obedient to God and walk in 'sexual' purity and to present our bodies as a living sacrifice.Walking the path of purity is not always easy but it is the ONLY way for any Christian who seeks to obey God and receive His blessings and rewards both now and for eternity. I will admit that I like the journey that I'm on right now. I will also be the first to admit that I'm not a virgin. I've had sex before, but I have decided that celibacy has been the best decision for me. However, I'm going to keep it real with you, although I'm a Christian woman, the fleshly desire to have sex doesn't just go away, but God calls us to be pure. In regards to sexual purity, look at what God says about it.

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.[b] The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

If I can be more honest with you, I have to let you know that while in the course of being celibate, I have fallen short, but even the Bible tells us “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23), but the Bible also advises us to flee sexual immorality. "1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

I fell short was because of sexual temptation. I was putting myself in compromising situations. I will be transparent with you all, it was one night I had sex with my then boyfriend and in the process, I felt guilty and stopped him and just started crying. I was ashamed with myself for compromising. He was someone I loved, but I got tired of hurting the one I loved most. It was then that I became tired; tired of the guilt, shame, spiritual death, and pain that came afterwards. I was crying out under the conviction of sexual sin. Sexual temptations can be dangerous, but the best way to resist temptation is to stay away from it. Its easy to be celibate when there's no temptation, but that's why there's a need for self-control. Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. But I Corinthians 7:9 tells us "if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For its better to marry than to burn with passions." Generally, we think that if we've already had sex, we can’t make the choice to be celibate, but we can...with self-discipline, prayer, and patience. Since that relationship, being celibate has changed my life for the better! I have freedom. I have freedom from the emotional, mental, and physical pain! I have freedom to focus on God. I have freedom to trust God for my mate and not have to rely on being sexually active in order to get one.

On the subject of being single, celibate and trying to date, you can ask a man to accept and respect your decisions when it comes to abstaining from sex, and he can either respect you and wait, or he can respect you and move on. In my journey with celibacy and dating, I've dated guys who will say they respected my decision...but as time goes by, and they realize I wasn't giving it up, they move on. I guess some men don't expect you to really mean that you're celibate. About four months ago, I dated a guy and after several dates, I told him I was I abstaining from sex, it was deal breaker for him. Then I dated another guy who wanted me to compromise on sex. However, I never compromised and we both agreed to go our separate ways. I would like to also add, while I didn't compromise on the sex, I had already compromised Gods standard by dating a non-believer. This last guy was a Muslim. Note: When you go out with someone who is not right with God, you've already compromised Gods standard. God set his standard for us when he said, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  (2 Corinthians 6:14) 

As you can see, not many guys want to wait, but we must be reminded me of our significance in God and that we are worth waiting for His best. While we often hear that relationships are about negotiation and compromise, we shouldn't compromise on sex. If our highest commitment is to God, then we won't compromise our convictions in this area. Now, there was a relationship where another guy never tried to have sex with me, and it was during that relationship, he helped me see what I wanted. However, that relationship didn't work out because I wanted more from the relationship (not sex, lol). While others might have viewed him as suspect, I viewed him a saved. Having said all that, the choice to be celibate can be a wonderful thing if you're doing it for the right reasons. I personally decided to abstain from sex for both personal and religious reasons. For a Christian, there's only one celibate commitment and that is from God, and for God. For me, its both a challenge and a deep desire to live as Jesus did. Of course, Jesus was tempted in every way, just as we are, but He didn't compromise. Hebrews 4:15 reads, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet without sin".

In conclusion, being celibate isn't an easy lifestyle, but by God's grace I have been able to remain celibate. If you are in a sexual relationship, all you need to do is confess your sin to God and repent of it. Repent means you stop doing it. God will forgive you! God loves you and he's always loved you! He's giving you a chance to start over.Remember, you're called by God to purity, not to sexual immorality ! To all of you out there who is celibate, I encourage you to stay faithful to God and to your decision! You can do it! Be encouraged!