The best defense against offense!

Ever been hurt or offended? We all have. And everyone who has ever lived on earth have been offended and have offended someone, knowingly or unknowingly...And if I can be honest, even Jesus said offenses will certainly come, but sadly we are not taught how to handle such situations. 
 
Here is what happened.

After five months of being off Facebook, it was today I decided to reactivate my account. After scrolling down the newsfeed, I see a status update that was directed towards me. Not only that, but shortly thereafter I noticed I was unfriended. Now, while offensive comments and lack of knowledge about a person are reasons people unfriend on Facebook, this was not the case. Though no one likes to lose a friend due to conflict resulting from misunderstandings, it happens. Let me ask this, how do you handle offenses when it arises? Do you overlook it? Do you tell about it in your Facebook status update? Do you tweet about it? Or do you gossip behind their backs? No, we are to handle it in a biblical way. Lets consider what Matthew 18:15-17 says...

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Here we see in the eighteenth chapter of Matthew, Jesus tells us how to deal with hurts and offenses, and pursue peace with others. Romans 12:18 also says “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”.  Let's look at the steps Jesus gives us to take when we are in conflict with each other. Before I begin, its to be noted that these steps are to be followed between believers.

 

Step 1: "Go and show him his fault, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU"... This step is a one-on-one, face to face moment. Notice I didn't say Face to Facebook. We are not to announce the offense to other people. We are to go directly to that person and talk to them... not being critical and judgemental, arrogant, proud, or self-seeking. We are to go to them in love. At this point everyone does not have to know. Hopefully the matter is resolved at two people level. 

 

Step 2: " If he will not listen, take one or two others along."  It is here when we are to take one or two others along if the person will not listen to you. 

 

Step 3: " If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector, ie., a non believer. NOTE! This step can only be taken once steps one and two have been done - not before.

 

While Jesus tells us how offenses are to be handled between two people, such is not the case. Instead, we go to everyone else and publish it to the world, which is the exact opposite of what He says. As believers, it is our responsibility to go to our Christian brothers and sisters and show them their fault. Example: I recall a time when someone came to me directly and asked if she had done anything to offend me. Her reason for asking is because she was going to write me, but after noticing I wasn't on her friend list anymore, she thought I had defriended her. However, after informing her that I had deactivated my account we realized there wasn't an issue. 

 

Conclusion,

 

We must handle offenses, but we must handle them in the manner that pleases Jesus. Not only that, Jesus warns us of offenses. In Luke 17:1, Jesus said "it is impossible that no offenses should come... That being said, when someone does or says something that hurts or offends us, we must be ready to forgive. Also keep in mind that in some cases, we will not realize that we have offended someone, but when we learn that we have, we should ask for forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22 says,  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

 

"If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them." Luke 17:3

“Love… it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Have you ever wondered if someone had a recorded list of all the things you ever done? Believe it or not, they do...and as for me, I have a perfect memory when I think about wrongs done to me. It was today my boyfriend and I were in the car leaving church service... we were having a conversation and in light of the conversation I brought up something that happened months ago, particularly a wrongdoing. Now mind you, he had apologized for what I brought up, but its evident that I was still hanging on to his record of wrong. While I didn't have a written document, the record of the wrongdoing remained with me in my head. For him, he thought I was over it because in the car he said "God is not a I remember when God". After hearing him say this, I was reminded of what the bible says, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” I don't know about you, but when I really think about what those words mean – keeps no record of wrongs... the words 'not forgiving' came to mind. Mind you again, my boyfriend and I were not having an argument on this day, but there have been times where we have gotten into arguments, and I bring up things that he has done wrong. And if I can be honest, I'm sure he can tally up things I have done and said as well.

Here's a question for us: What If God kept a record of our wrongdoings? What if every time we do something wrong, God adds it to a list? I don't know about you, but if God were to keep a record of my wrongs, I could not survive! But I thank Him for wiping out my sin record! Truth is, God doesn't keep a record of our sins when we ask for forgiveness. Isaiah 43:25 says, "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins... It is because God loves us so much, that He does not keep a record of our sins. Romans 4:8 also tells us, “Blessed is the man who sin the Lord will NEVER count against him”. 

Speaking of God's love, forgiveness is an expression of love. In 1 Corinthians 13, which is referred to as the love chapter, the Apostle Paul talks about love... but in this post I want to focus at the every end verse 5 where Paul points out that love "keeps no records of wrongs". Here we see that not only does Paul describe love, but he also tells us what love is not... and he also shows us this is the way we are to relate to anyone. We are not to keep a record of others wrongdoings so it can be brought up at some future time and thrown back into someone's face to be used against them. Paul is saying that love never records a wrong...whether or not these wrongs were done intentionally or unintentionally.

In speaking of love, we may as well ask, are we really willing to love??? After all, that's what love is. Love doesn't hold records of wrongs against another. That said, until we give up keeping score, we are incapable of expressing love. We will also be destined to live in the failures of the past. Perhaps you have a record of wrong doing on your spouse, children, parents, other family members, or church family but as believers, we should forgive and forget! Not only that, but we should also keep in mind that if we are still holding on to others records of wrongs, we have missed the point of God's love. Note: If God keeps no record on us, how can we keep a record on others.

Prayer 

Lord help us all to forget and forgive the records we have kept on others, and thank you, Lord, for not keeping a record of our sins. In Jesus’ name, Amen. If you, LORD, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness. - Psalm 130:3:4

...But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses." Mark 11:26

Give it up for.....

It was this evening, I was on the phone talking with a friend, while also trying to watch BET's 'The Game'. While talking, a commercial came on, and during this time I figured I would give him my undivided attention. However, while the commercial was on, I got side tracked when I heard the man from TV say "I want to give it up for good..." After hearing this, it made me think how we, as believers should want to give up things for good, or shall I say give up things for God...particularly that sin or sinful habits that is keeping us from Christ. I know last week or so before this post, I talked about not giving up on God, but in this post, I want to talk about giving up sin, but not just for good, but for God! I John 3:4-6 tells us...Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. Verse 6 then tells us that "No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him."  

Sin defined, is disobedience or rebellion against God. Sin is also defined as unrighteousness. I John 5:17 says, “All unrighteousness is sin: and there is a sin not leading to death” (I John 5:17). The truth is, we are all guilty of sin...but there's also the truth that God hates sin and as believers, we must hate what God hates and learn to love obedience.  In the bible, there are a great many kinds of sins, and there are many verses about sin. In Galatians 5:19-20, Paul lists seventeen sins of the flesh which is “adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like”.  And it is here we see that the works of the flesh is not just physical sins. In 1 John 2:16, sin is described as coming from three sources: lust of the flesh (gluttony, lust, sloth), lust of the eyes (greed), and pride of life (pride, envy, anger). However, Romans 8:8-9 reads, "Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. In the book of Proverbs, Solomon tells us about the things or sins that God hates. For example, Proverbs 6:16-19 reads, “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: 1) haughty eyes, 2) a lying tongue, 3) hands that shed innocent blood, 4) a heart that devises wicked schemes, 5) feet that are quick to rush into evil, 6) a false witness who pours out lies, and 7) a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”

Here we see that the bible describes sin in many ways that is not just confined to external sins. Not only that, but everyone also experiences the seven deadly sins such pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth in daily life...but as believers, we are to live our lives in a way that brings glory to God. I understand that sin is all around us, and within us, but, we should aim at being Christ-like. In 2 Corinthians 13:11, the bible even tells us to aim for perfection. If we are honest, most of us can agree that we know the good we are supposed to do, but yet there are times we choose to sin and fall short of God's perfect standard. As for me, I don't claim to be sinless... and you too shouldn't claim to be sinless for 1 John says, “If we claim to be without sin, we lie and the truth is not in us...BUT if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

As we're on the subject of sin, did you know that we can also sin in our heart and mind...and yet never commit an obvious act of sin? I don't know about you, but even after becoming saved, I myself thought it was innocent to think about certain sins, since I was sure I'd never take part in the actual sin...but that was a mistake. It is true that sin begins both in our heart and mind. This is why we should always ask God to search our heart...and mind. Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life". For example, many of us like to comfort ourselves with the fact we haven't committed certain external sins... but what about those internal sins that are hidden in our heart and mind, or our attitude towards those who commit sin? The truth is, all sins, no matter what it is separates us from God. This is why Jesus tells us in Matthew 15:19, "For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. Again I say, this is why we should regularly ask God to search our heart because in asking Him, we are inviting Him to open our heart so we may receive conviction of the Holy Spirit. 
 
Colossians 3:5-10 tells us "Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator....Let us also not forget what 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new".... If you are not sure if you're in Christ, look at your life.
 
CONCLUSION

Sin is everywhere and all around us. But as I've previously stated, God hates sin! He hates every sin and that should be enough of a reason for us to give up sin, that is unacceptable to Him. Acts 3:19 says, "So turn to God! Give up your sins, and you will be forgiven." Whatever the sin, we need to focus our attention on giving up that sin. Take a moment and think about how God demonstrated His love to us. To show His love, God did something totally incredible...He gave up His only begotten son to die for us, to pay for our sins. I don't know about you, but if God can give up his only begotten son, we can choose to give up sin to demonstrate our love to Him. The key to giving up sin fasting, praying ,reading the bible, and attending church, and bible study. Not only that, but Jesus will help those who want to give up sin. Remember, we can do nothing on our own, but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)  With respect to the sinning of the non-believers, we must remember that it is God's desire for all people to be SAVED!